Tighten Up
by nyanicorn
Summary: "Time has become such a blur to me. I was too busy recovering, learning to how live life again, learning how to reclaim what was once mine, wanting to reunite with him." Allegiant Spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is my first fanfiction. I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 1,165

* * *

_Someone said true love was dead_  
_ And I'm bound to fall, bound to fall_  
_ For you_

I stood in front of Tobias' new apartment that he picked sometime after the events outside the city to now. My fist coils, hovering over the wood frame with hesitation. Tobias, he should be happy to see me, even if it had been some time since we've seen each other. I'm uncertain of the time frame, honestly. It could range from a couple of months to years. Time has become such a blur to me. I was too busy recovering, learning to how live life again, learning how to reclaim what was once mine, wanting to reunite with him.

I suck in my breath, be brave, I tell myself as I slam my fist on his door. _Be brave_.

I'm Dauntless – no, was – I'm divergent... or genetically pure... I don't even know anymore. Even with the training I received back with the fractions, my heart races during situations where others in Dauntless wouldn't be. I don't know what I am.

The door clicks and opens, revealing a woman that I do not recognize. "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong apartment number."

The woman looks around my age, perhaps a little older, with chestnut hair that curled over her shoulder and a couple inches past. I must have interrupted her, as she was getting ready for the day. "I know this may seem like an odd question, but could you point me in the direction of someone by the name of To-" I pause, does he go by Tobias all the time now or does he stick with Four? "Four?" I quickly say, "he should live around here."

I could tell that she was going through all the names in her head for the name I said. I curse to myself by almost saying his name; it just rolls off my tongue much easier. "No," she replies, "I don't recall anyone of that name."  
"Oh," I reply promptly with some disappointment in my words, "maybe he goes by a different name, does To—" I see the woman turn her head slightly inward as someone in the inside was speaking to her. "—bias?"

"I'm sorry can you hold on one second?" she says to me before speaking to whoever is inside, "some girl was asking if anyone named Four lives around here. I don't think so, right? Nothing rings any bells but I don't really know that many people who live around here."

I allow my head to fall, staring at my feet while she speaks to someone else. I wonder where Tobias is. I was told this was his room but my mind isn't up to par as it use to be. After the gunshots, I had spent countless months in a coma and then had to relearn my motor skills. My short-term memory has been affected immensely.

Matthew told me when I woke up that all my friends had returned back to the city since it seemed unlikely that I would wake up. I don't blame them. Uriah was in a coma for some time too and he died. Matthew was surprised that I recovered so quickly as well. He thought that I would need a much longer period of recovery to learn how to walk but I was determined. I was determined to see Tobias.

I'm lost in thought, too lost to notice the door open to reveal whom she is speaking to. "Tris," I hear.

I raise my head to see who I was looking for, "To- Four…" I mumble. He had another woman.

I see her hand roam around his shoulder and say, even though her face is no longer there, "Four? Is that some kind of nickname of yours?"

"Not so much anymore," he says. He must either have lost a fear or gained more.

"Oh," I look over at the woman, "I'm Natasha or Tasha for short - and you're… Tris?"  
"Beatrice," I correct.

"That's a nice name," Tasha said with a smile but I can see Tobias was skeptical of why I corrected her. "Anyways, I have to go to go to work. I'll allow you two to catch up since it seems like your friends." She kisses Tobias's cheek and I quickly advert my eyes. "I'll be back for dinner."

She shimmies her way between the door and me and makes her way out. She smells like flowers, it's a soothing scent. It must comfort him, a secure smell.

Tobias moves out of the way to allow me to enter his apartment and part of me wants to stay there but I do. I duck under his muscular arms and stepped in. It possesses simple decoration, with hints of a feminine touch. She seems goof for him, I decide.

"I thought you were dead," he says after closing the door.

"You thought wrong," I retort.

"Matthew said you would probably not wake up and was going to pull the plug within a couple days. I should have stayed longer."  
"I have a way of proving people wrong."

He laughs, "and cheating death apparently."  
"I don't cheat it. I just am set on staying a live."  
There's a silence between us. I refuse to be to close to him, despite how much I want his touch. The only thing that kept me through rehabilitating was knowing that Tobias was going to be there for me. I had a plan. I would kiss him, touch him – but I should have known better.

"Your hair has gotten longer."

It has. After I had woken, my hair was drastically longer than how it was before. "I haven't gotten around to cutting it. It wasn't my main focus."

I'm not surprised that he's bombarding me with questions but I am by how little he is asking. "Staying alive?"

"Recovering." I verify.

"Recovering?"

I nod. "I had to relearn how to walk." One of the bullets hit near my spine. Matthew said I could have been paralyzed if it had hit millimeters closer.

He's silent. I could tell that this is a lot to take in. "You thought I was dead?"

His voice is horse, "yeah," he coughs, "I was under the impression."

"Matthew must've not told you I woke up then. He was busy with me and the physical therapy." I know Tobias never likes Matthew for the same reasons I didn't like Nita and it still seems to be the case now.

The silence appears again and I look around, unable to look at him for long amounts of time. "Can you tell me where Christina is? I guess she thinks I'm dead too, huh?"  
His lips form a straight line. "Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

Word count: 1486

_And every little word you say_  
_You break me in the best way_

_-Kimbra, something in the way you are_

* * *

Christina spreads her arms and engulfs me in a hug. "You're alive!" I could hear a faint sniffle from her as she buries her face on my shoulder.

Her hair is the same as it was, maybe a couple of inches longer. She has aged since the last I time I saw her, of course. Her hair is still relatively short, but it's more styled and holds more curls. Her dark eyes are no longer caked with eyeliner like she did back in Dauntless. I like it.

My hands pat on her back gently while still holding the hug strong, "last time I checked."

Lifting her face, she places hands around my shoulder bone, holding me still as she looks into my eyes. Her eyes are glossy, a thin-film forms over them. "I should have known you with. You're like a cat – a cat who has lost eight lives."

The corner of my lips curves to a faint smile, "I no longer feel like flirting with death anyways. How've you been?"

She laughs at how casual I'm being, "busy. I got a job as a receptionist. You couldn't imagine some of the questions I get."

I laugh along with her, "you've always been so approachable." I love Christina. Even with everything that happened, we will are able to pick up where we left off. She doesn't seem as confused as Tobias was when I saw him but then again, Christina and I never had romantic feelings for each other that ended on bad terms.

"Har har," I hear her sarcasm, "I might be able to hook you up with a job there if you want it."

"Of course I would! I'm not sure how the city is functioning now but I can tell that I'll need a job to sustain life."

Christina nods, "ain't that the truth. You can stay with me until you get on your feet."

"You sure?" She is handling the fact that I had risen from the dead quite well, "I wouldn't be a burden?"

"Of course not! You're my best friend, Tris!" I smile and she smiles back. She still has Candor in her blood, brute honesty. "I wouldn't reject the idea as having you as a permanent roommate if things go well

She motions me in and sits on the couch, I quickly follow; I can tell that there is going to be a more serious conversation about what happened to me. I'm actually surprised that it took this long. "Now tell me," she says, "how have you been? We were all sad to hear you would be passing… the same as Uriah. I know Tobias had it the hardest," Tobias just flows off her lips with ease, he must have gone by that name for a while now, "after feeling guilty for Uriah and then you... he was kind of a mess."

I bob my head, understating completely. "I never meant to put you guys through that. I wanted to save Caleb, to show that I love him even after all he did. I don't remember what happened after I got shot but I found out that Caleb pulled me out and brought me to the clinic. He had to go through the poison to get me so my efforts kind of went to waste," I try to smile but it's clearly forced. I stare at my thumbs, twisting them around each other until I feel a stern grasp on my shoulder.

"Don't think that. If it wasn't for you then Chicago may not have turned out how it is today."

"But Caleb ended up dying regardless! I took his place to spare his life!"

"And he spared yours. He showed how much he loved you there too."

I feel a lump come up my throat. I didn't even get to see him before he died. I had to find out through someone else. "I saw my mother. I reached for her to take me with but she shook her head. I took that as I still had things to attend here and fought for my life.

"That's my Tris!" Christina shouts with a fist in the air, "you are so determined to live! You fight off death serum with such ease; it doesn't even faze you!" I know she is trying to lighten the mood but I can tell by her face that she is still upset about the situation. She is Candor. She is not afraid of being vocal or expressive.

"When I woke up, Matthew was really confused – well not really. He knew I was a fighter. But when I woke up and saw no one there, I knew I had to improve my heath so I could be with you all." I see her lips tense up. "I had to go through some physical therapy and relearn how to walk but I had a goal, to see you all and to live for Caleb."

"You're incredible."

"I'm only as incredible as those who inspire me." She hugs me once more and I return it. I hold her tightly, remembering her usual scent. It's at that moment I finally let myself cry. I soak her shoulder with my tears as my fingers grip onto her shirt for dear life. I haven't cried in a long time. I feel comfortable enough, in the arms of a loved one, to let it all out.

She holds me, soothing me with her comforting touches until my breathing becomes steady. "When we thought you were… gone," she pauses, "Tobias wanted to go back here and… forget you. He had the Abnegation serum waiting but I stopped him." I lift my head and face; Candors are so blunt. "I know what it's like to lose someone important." Will. "But the memories with him… I'd rather have them and bare the pain than to forget them entirely." I give a sympathetic smile while snorting some snot back up my nose. I'm the reason why Will is no longer here. She forgave me but you can only forgive so much.

"Tobias has another girlfriend," I state as I whip my nose with my sleeve, "she's really pretty."  
"You met her already?"

I nod, "yes. I went to go see Tobias, he led me here, and I found out that he moved on." Her hand pats my back for support. "Don't worry about it, Christina. He can move on, especially after he thought I was dead."

"I know, I know but let's forget about him. How are _you_?"

I stop, feeling a lump in my throat rise to choke me. I advert my eyes. "I'm okay."

"Really? Whenever you look away it means something, usually nervous or lying."

"Really. He can come on so why can't I?" I know that even if I say otherwise, she still knows.

She grows silent and I know this conversation has grown uncomfortable, for the both of us. I clasp my hands with hers, "believe me." I see a faint smile, doubtful but there.

Tobias has moved on and so must I. My heart aches at the thought. Tobias is the only person I've ever loved. The only person I've kisses, touched and share secrets with. But now he has someone who can take my place. Someone who is nicer, more open, and prettier than me who can treat him better.

Back with Matthew, I learned that I couldn't be with anyone else. Matthew liked me, I could tell. He stayed with me, helped me through my therapy even though he wasn't needed but he knew. He knew that my heart could never go to him. It was with Tobias but he traded mine for someone else's.

I no longer know where my heart is now. After finding out about Natasha, I felt betrayed. I spent so much time, so much effort so I could be with him again but he wasn't aware. He didn't even know I was living! I was a ghost to him, a faded memory.

My raging thoughts was cut short by the sound of Christina's voice. "You can sleep on the couch. I'll take you to meet my boss tomorrow and ask about the position as a receptionist." I look up at her and smiled. "We'll have to cover those tattoos though."

I'm Dauntless and proud of it. Why do I need to cover my chest and arms to please someone? I don't argue, however, she knows best in this unknown world. "Thanks," I quickly say.

"You must be tired. I'll let you sleep and I'll get you ready in the morning." She passes me a blanket and a pillow.

"I love you," I almost sob it out, grateful for her kindness.

"I love you too, Tris."

And now I am alone, alone with my thoughts. I pull the pillow I was given and hug it between my knees. _Be brave_, I tell myself, tomorrow is a new day, a new life where I no longer am tied to a faction, a new life where Tobias isn't mine.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I plan on updating at least once a week, but no promises that it will always fall on the same weekday.


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